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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Guardians of the moonlight bring the spell alive
trought the sphere of sorrow lead my holy ride
Titans of the desert face the warlord's pride
fighters from the near lakes join the tragic night

War of the ghostland take your souls
but give us freedom once and for all
...firestorm!

UNDER THE RAIN OF A THOUSAND FLAMES
WE FACE THE REAL PAIN FALLING IN VAIN
WHILE THE DARK ANGEL SCREAMS FOR VENGEANCE
IN THE DEAD SHADOW OF FALLING STARS

Silent cries of virgins touch the heart of night
raped by the demons under painful sights
Sperm and blood and terror chaos in my head
Is the law of evil triumph for the damned

War of the ghostland take your souls
but give us freedom once and for all
...firestorm!

UNDER THE RAIN OF A THOUSAND FLAMES
WE FACE THE REAL PAIN FALLING IN VAIN
WHILE THE DARK ANGEL SCREAMS FOR VENGEANCE
IN THE DEAD SHADOW OF FALLING STARS

...Moonlight is the witness of the most tragic day for our lands...
nothing seems possible to change the destiny of war...
Lament of heroes reach the deep skies
fill the wide cosmos and free my pain... my pain!

UNDER THE RAIN OF A THOUSAND FLAMES
WE FACE THE REAL PAIN FALLING IN VAIN
WHILE THE DARK ANGEL SCREAMS FOR VENGEANCE
IN THE DEAD SHADOW
OF FALLING STARS

DIES IRAE
REGNA NELL' OSCURITA'


Grrrr...10:10 PM
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Sunday, June 25, 2006

ah well this holiday is a total waste of time. as in people wasting my time. from pesky (unfortunately for me) schoolmates to the logic-less parent, you name it, it happened to me. why, im not even living in my own room right now, just crashing into relatives and giving them trouble, which i dont like. now then i understand the meaning of home sweet home. then again, i never felt more peaceful while im here having a place to crash for a couple of weeks until that idiot moves out. hopefully mom doesnt have to evict him.

mid years. seriously i do not understand why the school wants to do the entire syllabus in such a big rush. got early bird government bonus? oops dont arrest me ociffer. im sure many of the student body rather mid years be before the holidays, and lesser topics covered. i remember that back in the mother school,our mids didnt even include all our topics, and that we even completed our syllabus in late july. ok fine so i got 31 points for mid years in sec4, but hey it made me complete 2 tys and a mofo lot of practice papers everyday in school during june hols thanks to gssp. the only difference however is that i dont have maple or msn messenger or this blog or a girlfriend (oops not that you're a waste of time dear. we do study together right. haha).

the point is,why rush?

looks like someone doesnt want to forgive and forget even though ive almost forgotten about the whole issue. please dont remind me of it. i shall ignore you.

people please cherish your family for there are others who do not even have a decent one, like me. for those who dont have one too, i shall say, you're not alone.

damn both asian teams out?


Grrrr...12:29 PM
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Monday, June 19, 2006

as the title said, to everyone and their fathers. except for me.

things went out normally when i woke up, just that i did so late. 9am. for a 10am shift.
ok first it started out with him mysteriously going into mum's room, presumably trying to do some hanky panky in vain. then after being rejected for whatever he is trying to acheive he went out to sleep. or so it seems.

then he woke up for no reason, and kicked down my mother's room's door. yes he KICKED DOWN THE DOOR. then he starts to physically threaten mum. then he goes over to MY room, and kicks MY DOOR DOWN. now its really 3 doors down, cause my sister's room's door is already screwed in the first place.

by now the one-sided fist fight occurs. and then he prevents me from going to work, claiming its a "big fuck waste of time" yea, you are a bigGER fuck waste of time.
ok so now i got to the backyard and climbed the low wall out and whipped out my mo-bi-le phone for the triple digit no.

then they arrived, and what a inside-my-mind laugh i got when i saw his pathetic face turn white when i push open the front door with 2 officers armed with tasers. ok after some emo talk between the officer and mum we were escorted out of the house, to great timing my uncle and aunts (maternal) arrived and whisked my sis and mum to a safehouse for now, while i go off to work.

on the cab however he mysteriously called me, and asked if i called the cops on him. i pleasingly said yes, to be replied with a thank you very much. in order to stab him even more i said you're welcome haha. then he dropped a big fucking bombshell by saying that he doesnt have this son of his anymore. well the problem is, the bombshell is on him. i was so elated somehow. my childhood (wait, what childhood? never mind) was made up of fade memories of fear and anguish towards him. now, pops out a young man out of that small cowardly shell. i now dare to stand up against that monster.

sometimes i wished i never existed. if i didnt, probably my mum wouldnt even have to meet my father to create me.
then again, if i never existed, i wouldnt even be able to make my girl'afk a very happy girl =]

ok back to that monster. sometimes i wonder why must male ego stand so high? if you're in the wrong, would you use violence to make everyone to think that you're right a la totalitarianism?
also the male mechanism of self-preservation is too prevalent in that monster. when those that he controls (the 3 of us) are not in his demonic clutches anymore, he will get rid of them so that no one else can have them. it is a defensive mechanism present in males of all social animals since the rat race started.

ah well. then lets just say in sexless. i do not want to indulge in such worthless male activities, neither do i want to get a socket instead of a plug.

while all fathers are rejoicing over their role, my officially estranged father is still being headstrong about his, and very proud of it. although nobody else is. to think, he has even fell out with his own parents.

happy father's day people.


Grrrr...1:26 AM
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Saturday, June 17, 2006

the saga is over, no thanks to anyone.

now, i have received demands, requests rather, to remove all traces of this undesirable episode of my life. its like, why would i do that?

i mean like, i dont think this is what they mean by FORGIVE and FORGET. you are never forgiven, for you are never blamed. i take it as a lesson on the devious-ness of characters in this cruel world. (so we shall all bathe in the depths of hell)

so, cut the emo talk. or whatever talk you call that. i shall leave this here as a reminder for myself or those around me who know what i am talking about. as chinese put it, (english translation) lie on sandalwood and lick gall. (you can go google it to find out. its an actual proverb)


Grrrr...12:14 PM
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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

someone whom i have never seen before suddenly approached me about the topic about this entire fucking meaningless saga. given the bias information that hes received i certainly do not think he has seen a good enough picture of this entire issue. i shall not elaborate about the saga in the first place, although you dudes and girls can come approach me if you want to know about it. no names will be divulged. I RESPECT PRIVACY A LOT.
how important can "face" get in one's social life? its not like you will die without any "face", however it is still mandatory to have some self-confidence and self-integrity to uphold your "face". face is not earned, it is given. a label on one's head that society has cruelly marked upon all of us.
and i do not see what you did can be in anyway "funny". im not laughing. many others wont too. disgusted they would feel.
and ashamed? why do i need to be ashamed. i do not have any face to begin with. if what you did was to make my reputation go down, ill take you down to hell with me. then we can all bathe in flames with the devil. oh mighty satan. give me with eternal bliss.
i believe your main aim was to gain recognition from your circle of friends or whoever is left of it. well doing it at the expense of others wont help. its like the triad world. to join the mafia, you got to kill someone to prove your prowess. what do you get? a whole lot of bad karma. it might not catch up on you now, but sooner or later it will. thats life.
being a pampered princess with you bawling at everyone with your needs and those "everyone" attending to them in blind sight doesnt help either. you did not live the childhood ive been through. you do not understand how is it to be unloved, and being required to attend to yourself. remember that. im sure it applies to basically my social circle.
once again like i said to that person who approached me, i did not blow up the matter. you did it with your own hands by uploading things on your own blog. courtesy of another once-blind-now-enlightened person. now let me cite some law here:
http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/non_version/cgi-bin/cgi_getdata.pl?actno=1965-REVED-75
this is within singapore's book of law.
an excerpt:
"broadcasting by means of telecommunication" means publication for general reception by means of a telecommunication

"telecommunication" means any system for the transmission, emission or reception of signs, signals, writings, images and sounds of all kinds by means of radiowaves, wire, cable or other electro-magnetic systems;
"words" includes pictures, visual images, gestures and other methods of signifying meaning.
note that for each passing day that conversation remains online you are liable to be sued by me. any individual above the age of 18 can be brought to court under civil suits. somewhere along that line. some law dude: correct me if i am wrong.
Slander of women.4. Words spoken and published which impute unchastity or adultery to any woman or girl shall not require special damage to render them actionable.
well it seems like you did it yourself to yourself.
hence or so it seems, you have to learn that blaming those that you tried to harm when your plan to popularity backfires on you. doing that only suggests to the world that you're a coward who has not even seen the world beyond the piece of sky above your well. you have to learn. this is a cruel world. and i have to be stuck in it with you. dont get me wrong though. ill intentions? no definitely not. to those who know me a little bit better (they know who they are) would know that i am not a person to hate nor spite, just like how you are seemingly behaving right now. just having fun? of course not. i may laugh and make jokes that nobody laughs at, but i do not like fun. i bring it to those that i love.
blow it up? you did it yourself. always blame yourself before you blame others, even if you are not in the wrong. this is how you learn. fuck all the optimism talk. this is life.
for some real entertainment and some insight on what the fuck am i talkin about love here, watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk3Xdsh1CP0


Grrrr...2:11 AM
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Monday, June 12, 2006

1. Perfect Gentleman

There is no doubt about it
I'm one of a kind, baby
I am le d'Artagnan de coeur
As you may see, candy

And I'm talkin with my eyes
And I walk in different styles
I'm the genuine man!
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman

Kneel down, inhale my odor
Come, kiss my hand, angel
Dare to explore my higher grounds
Strive to deserve me, ma cherie
And my winds surpass perfume

I'm charismatic at full bloom
I'm the genuine man!
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am, I am, yes I am(Perfect)

[SOLO]

Oh Lord, what can I do
I can't resist my own reflection
How would possibly anyone?
Cause I am (Perfect)
Yes I am (Perfect)
Oh Lord I am (Perfect)
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman


Grrrr...8:55 PM
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Thursday, June 08, 2006

"yue han, why arent you improving? you see even m*** h** is improving so much. why are you still like that? always never put in effort to give strength."

somehow, my coach is right. i do not have power. i do not have the will to do well. or do i?
watching naruto has somehow flashed a signal that strength comes from pure guts, not calcualtions or cheap talk. as much as naruto having the whole world to back him up, i dont.
and while naruto did it in making people acknowledge his power, i think i only have 1 person who ever did acknowledge me. you and i should know.

ah, 2 weeks and im still not done with maths as ive planned out. too much rest? perhaps its much needed? or much wanted? my new desktop somehow only complicates things other than the fact that it can give me non-stop metal from helloween to dimmu borgir.

speaking of metal music, wilfred quoted "an interview of teens around America, regarding the appeal of heavy metal. Apparently, the survey results say that majority of teens like how the music sounds, without really paying much attention to what the lyrics say."

true somehow, given that the socially accepted image of metal being necrophilic and hateful. however not all the time. bands like helloween and iced earth have rather soppy lyrics fitted into angst sounding double pedals and bass-guitar shredding. theres also fantasy based lyrics, like dragonforce, rhapsody, and ManOwar. last but not least, the earlier-mentioned death-based lyrics, like cannibal corpse and cradle of filth.
~~~~

ah well enough of music. the first part of the post is done 3 days ago. now, some konfidence, not kondifence, gained back. thanks to you-know-who. =]

ah, the wonder of girl politics. the recent news of the doctor-hopeful chum who got lured into "3P sex" and some drug session? and then he got caught by undercovers and his family got hit quite badly both financially and psychologically?

its happening to me. and i detest cowards who do that just in order to get back/ have fun/ whatever else at my expense. lock your blogs, shut your browsers, so that i cannot do some espionage. run away, for all that is worth of your minion fates.

gosh, this might turn out to be another tammy. haha. at least no videos. to think i had told myself to remain my trust in you. but time and time again, you have shown me your true cheap and lowdown face. and i wonder who hacked hanamotochi . only 2 people knew my password. friendship goes down the drain. without regaining HP.

i have found a new place to mug. i shall not disclose, for it is my sanctuary. metamorphosis has begun, and you cannot stop it. hail me as the new master, for all that is worth.

and i found out that many are actually fascinated by my partner, and news is spreading faster than tammy or nose-picking videos. wow. i thought i didnt exist. damn my cover is blown. i must hide now.


Grrrr...8:58 PM
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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Is there any wonder?
Why we came about?
Was it for love?
Or to let sin abound?
Isn't it a wonder?
Awake from blood thick dreams
Remove all the stones from our hearts
We must all believe

Ohhh, will we find a way to the other side
Heading for a light
Who is holding the key, why can't we see
The dark ride


Grrrr...4:52 PM
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Saturday, June 03, 2006

(this is for michelle and against her flamers. i despise anonymous animosity.)


The Insight And The Catharsis
Passenger on confessional course
Unlock with the key you behold within
Repair the shadow of your mind
and come awake

"Oh, dreadful angel of mine
Enrich me with the vastness of being
Rigid father, teach me how to comprehend
I'll commit myself to understand
To be faithful and the instrument
So that the ones with blindfold can see what i have seen
That there is nothing inbetweenFor I am the accomplice..."

Aghast and tender, indulged in sin
Embraced by loneliness, legions who grin
I blunder into the realms of slumber
I collide with the obscure
and see the last fraction of light go by

Plundering the sanity from the insane
and providing appearances in black
Carefully swept in decadent spheres
But faces in this world always remain darkened

In circles of dominance, emotional deeps unite
Fiction and transcendence woven together
In the essence of purity lies wisdom
Join the forces, the spiritual black dimensions

What more do you need of proof
Human hands conforming cloven hoofs
For I know the secrets and lies behind all truths
Knowlege is power and the power is mine
It's all mine

So let the children come to meand share the limitless ways to infinity
Escape death and disease
And behold youth and vitality


Grrrr...12:41 PM
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About

Naheuy
Hana
Fishy <3
Samick Guitar
Victorian
[Nil Sine Labore]

Meridian
[Mugger]

HANA THE HERMIT


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Or a EvoX will do too =p
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