i was supposed to cover quite some topics last week, and in the end only a few were covered. and whats more maths does not have a system yet. what am i doing? wasting MY precious life away.
this will not do. now, not only i will get my studies right, i will get my body right too. yes, my body. by the A levels a different naheuy will appear.
now, my simple take on the me.com article:
my blog is for MYself most importantly. and for you all, to realise how you have sinned upon me. if you do not want to see it, fine. be oblivious in sinning for eternity. for ignorance is bliss.
^jake, you're sooo wrong about the ring
*names have been changed to protect assumed privacy.
(taken from some chain mail about horoscopes) He is as romantic as > any other Zodiac. He could look gentle, but inside he is as strong as steel. > Once he determine to do something, he is serious about doing it well. He > will keep any pressure or insult deep down inside without showing emotion.
right. not showing emotion.
true enough even warriors buckle under pressure. how can one not be crushed when you have a parent(s), teachers, even VP(s) breathing down your ear saying the same thing again and again: must keep studying, no time for this that this that... the thing is, the way im being pushed i wont have time for anything. the physics test i took today on Current of Electricity and Capacitance. as much as i catch concepts fast, i cant catch a single ball on how to do the questions. and to think they are mainly conceptual. see what i mean? ah never mind. "emotionless"
today could be one of the worst days to buckle: right when i was sending her home. not only i didnt end up sending her to her doorstep, i became a big sulk along the way. other than clyy and tch s' directly encouraging moments, the rest are either plain naggy (hence inhibiting me) or just simply marking me down for my temporary inability. TEMPORARY.
i actually wept along the way home. that kid next to me probably thought i was listening to hello kitty music rather than helloween. when was the last time i cried? probably sec3. and it was over a girl. how pathetic. i always do that, as well as other things, at the wrong times.
now im a man of steel. i will not succumb to bastards like you again.
once again someone preyed upon an innocent hermit and stripped him of his fortune. hanamotochi is hacked. again. by who, she/or maybe he, would definitely come to read this:
fuck you. lowdown bitch. preying indiscriminately on innocent people.
ok fine i lost about umm. less than 20M worth of goods. armor, claw, and a few stars which ARE TOTALLY WORTHLESS. YOU CAN KEEP THEM FOR ALL YOU LIKE.
unlike you (the hacker), i would probably have friends of more backbone and quality than yours. so recovery should not be long.
then again, mr teo asked me (rather, told me) to stop mapling. and concentrate on studies! well i shall. i shall.
i have never seen a kid so useless before. and to think i used to think a few em3-ers in hong wen during my p6 year were really beyond hope and nowhere beyond psle. this kid (he who shall not be named shall have his miserable privacy protected) is from a certain primary school in tampines. since there are so many primary schools in tampines, good luck guessing which one.
now since i was the new tutor in the programme i was given the "ultimate challenge"of handling the kid. i was already not giving everyone, including the teacher respect. they mock someone with such a label, and dont try to do anything about it. nabeh.
ok i was talkin with xuanyong until this very ruffled kid comes into the room. then xy said NEH thats him. i was like ok fine. but until he started behaving like some AA 3 year old i was like what the fuck? this kid can make it past p3?or did the school retain him for very long already.
anyway ok i was nice enough to tutor (or at least try to tutor) this kid. first he made me run all over the school, then make me threaten him to call his teacher. then finally i got him to the classroom to MARK his paper which he done last week, of which he nonchalantly boasted that he "anyhow do one"
ok then i got him to do oral which he is supposed to do that day. ok not bad his spoken english is rather mediocre but good-to-do. but when it got to the picture description he became attention deficient and started making a ruckus. then it was time i left for my parents-teacher meeting. something i wished i didnt have to go for.
mr teo said all the other teachers said i was s**** but lazy. out of focus. and i have to come out with a plan, which i am in the process of in the first place, and show it to everyone involved. mum, mr teo, and i included mabell, since shes 2000000 times more disciplined than me when it comes to academics.
anyway after leaving that school, i vouch never to touch another psychic vampire. one who makes a fool out of himself to manipulate the feelings of others. and one who does not cherish oneself. that is not the way of the satanist.
the heat is really pushing up onto me this time. as much as i want to, i do not have the time to sit down and go through my concepts and do summaries. and as much as i want to pon school to study at home, its impossible, given P's ala Margaret Thatcher iron fist, which is totally unnecessary, towards discipline. i mean, okay we got a few more, if not some extras, of bimbos and what nots that do not give two hoots about school. but keeping students in school = more study time? fuck off man. one reason i improved so much for Os is the time given to me by APC and crew. and according to what SKP mentions to me regarding timetables, i feel our cohort is nothing more than a guinea pig for the next batch of NEW syllabus jc1s.we are obsolete. we are only good in science/humanities/not both. they are. hence we are worthy only of taking a bashing by bad timetables.
then again my plan to skip school might not succeed. why the school admin doesnt even want to give me a day leave to settle family affairs. why? "dont miss lessons." yea okay when lessons are just confirming that what i do is correct. i can very well do that via my own free time in consultations. rigid schedules make rigid students. wooden blocks that can be building blocks of structures, but cannot bend to meet the requirements, hence needed in large numbers. having flexible schdules however is akin to making out students of concrete. easy to shape to meet the need, hard and solid and good to stay. ah well the disdain towards education administration.
jake said couples with rings complete with names will break up within 3 months. fuck him and his swinger ideology. i love her and we're here to stay. enough said.
Now, check this wikipedia entry out. Unlike what you superficial bastards think about Satanism, it is not the blood-thirsty or lust-craving image you all perceive. Read on.
of which, i will take an excerpt. from the bible of satan or something.
Satanic philosophy
LaVey's "9 Satanic Statements", a philosophical outline to defining Satanism in The Satanic Bible, were as follows:
Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.
Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.
Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.
Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates.
Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires.
Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all.
Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.
Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years.
Matching these, LaVey also identified 9 Satanic sins, namely:
Stupidity, pretentiousness (putting on airs), solipsism (expecting others to give back to you what you give to them), self-deceit, herd conformity, lack of perspective, forgetfulness of past orthodoxies (i.e. accepting something as new and different which is merely a repackaging of the old or the discredited), counterproductive pride (i.e. pride of a type which undermines one's own goals), and lack of aesthetics.
Note: solipsism can also refer to an epistemological idea attributed to Descartes, suggesting that one person is the only one to actually experience existence and that all others are merely figments of the imagination of this individual.
He further outlined 11 Satanic rules, which while not exactly a moral code, provide Satanists with general guidelines for living:
Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
Do not harm little children.
Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
It is interesting to note that some of these rules appear opposite to traits commonly perceived as "Satanic." Specifically, proselytism (in this case, actively turning others to the worship of Satan) is strongly discouraged, and the prohibition of harm against children and animals contradicts reputed Satanic fondness for sacrifice (see Satanic Ritual Abuse), both of which are often erroneously associated with Satanists.
finally, i have fallen from my castles in the skies to become a FOO fighter. not the band. but the grades. how dare me, to fail anything at all. like what bae's number machine says. "my mum says i was meant for greater things...". although she DOES think so, still, hahahahahahaha.
this is the first time since secondary 3 that i got results that im actually ashamed of publicising. in the past, getting E means being the top 30th percentile of the cohort. now, as i see my class position being 22/25 for maths, 291 for chemistry and somehow similar for physics, this is it. i will not tolerate anymore nonsense from myself. now with my newly acquired lucky charm i shall work towards the small battery size.
amongst all the facades that we have put up for ourselves, i realised its backfiring on those very people. someone actually said to me, "go to the other side la. you got take manikin meh?" when his instructions at first was "those that are taking obstacle events go over to the other pool" the thing is, i dont take neither for some reason. ok fine im not so good with the orange unfriendly plastic, but obstacle? from what i see the newbies do it, EVEN i am confident of doing better. i still beat that WWW dude last year man. better than none. then again, he still stared at me as if i was a nemesis.
then soon after, SHE came to brag to me, "i can swim faster than you la talk so much." fine. you have always been unable to match up to your speed since the days i was a daniel disciple. but get this straight. you're not fast. im slow. (on a sidetrack, i gained 4kg out of nowhere. what the fuck?)
im not getting the respect i rightfully deserve. not that its alot i admit, but no you're all being selfish fuckers and not sharing respect. i detest that. so will you one day.
so long, MJCLST. may we never meet after the stupid competition where not everyone gets opportunities. ok fine except for that classmate of mine. (names are not mentioned here.) ~~~
i got back chemistry today. i can tell you that im leagues and leagues behind my girl. its like the boston red sox against some ulu ulu town cub baseball league. this will not do. reminder to self: fuck the timetable and its long unreasonable days. you will put in most of the time that are newly bestowed upon me when that man leaves my world.
~~~~
today must be one of the most "evan-ful" days of all my days. i was bringing her home and was walking at the passageway from the mrt station to the bus interchange at pasir ris. then a certain young dude (looks probably even younger than me) and some girl with him came to talk to me about GOD and his beloved values. then he proceeded to giving me his testimony of sorts of whatever was that, when i already answered his question of my religion that im a buddhist. so my girl then gave me a hand by saying that we are in a rush home. then that guy said that they are having some bbq at some condo so that they can further discuss GOD with me. and asked me for my number as if i was obliged to give it to them. so i gave him a FAKE number. and went off. pure evil.
after we left it was only when bell said "eh? why isnt he in school?" that i realised it. you want to spread christianity when you're not even having a decent lifestyle of education, instead spending your days after values that wont get you food alone? not that i say religious values are bad. but harping about them and hanging them at your mouth alone, just like that dude, wont get you to survive. unless of course hes living off some church. or some poor parents of his.
bottomline. no more evangelising me. i hereby reject all such efforts to make someone dispose of his current spiritual faiths, just to follow you. to those people who are giving non-followers a hard time: stop it. yes the bible said something about propogating the faith or something along that train or thought. but that doesnt mean you go around making a nusaince out of yourself. enough said.
watched superman returns this late afternoon with my own Lois Lane (haha). i must say superman movies suddenly took a turn for romance. no more movie full of lifting impossible masses or being impossibly inpenetrable. emo~~
at least this time, superman is given a pushstart with some fierce camera and 3D effects. the bullet squished when it hit his eye, and the a-la bullet time scenes. and his son (not really directly pointed out though) is fierce too.
worth a watch.
zzzz my ring finger suddenly swelled up! and i cant take it off/put it on easily like it used to be. thats after about almost a week since we bought it. any ideas what happened and what to do -.-
ah well. back to school after a week of going-to-school-but-not-feeling-like-youre-in-school. didnt go today though. ALLERGY reaction and KNEE INJURY. but i heard from some reliable sources the principal scolded the students for not paying attention in maths lectures, and not coming to school on time. and according to sources, she "claimed that" she "asked staff members to track what students are doing," like playing computer games, which she reprimanded the students for too. i mean, apa ini? means someone keeps typing "/find hanamotochi" 24/7 just to know if im playing or not haha. absurd.
why does vs have such consistent results? (okay not so consistent in terms of elite, but still of above average calibre) cause the ex-principal (whom done only a few but rather crucial things right) gave students lots of free time. i dont mean holidays, although he did give us 2 weeks to study for prelims and NOT 3 DAYS ONLY LIKE WHAT MERIDIAN JUNIOR COLLEGE IS GIVING. i mean short timetables (he did shorten timetables after midyear examination. i remember ending class at 1plus then having remedials at 3plus on certain days. look at me for example. my longest day now ends at 4.15, not inclusive on monday where i have cca until 7, as im going to step down a couple of weeks later. when im going back to geylang, it takes me an hour, a little less maybe, to get through my house door. after which i proceed to settle down and take a bath, 1/2 hour gone. thats dinner time already.with the fact that i live a good distance away from school, i have to sleep relatively early, say 11pm (YES 11PM IS EARLY FOR JCS) that leaves me with just about 2~3 hours to cram in tutorials, assignments and revisions. not to mention time to wind down and maple. okay lets say i only maple on alternate days. its still not enough time to juggle with.
see my point about giving more free time? holidays vs shorter days. balance in more time to revise. the SCHOOL MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE may argue with the fact that people end up playing dota or cs or soccer or whatever.i mean during O levels i did spend a good deal of my time playing gunbound (it was hot then, before MS came out), but as long as we are in fine educational institutions, be it vs, mjc, or rjc,vjc, whatever else, not say others arent fine. almost all of the student body will be decently concerned about their studies. if not, they wouldnt be slogging amongst thick ring files of notes everyday. chill on the students, they willl handle fine. we are not some neighbourhood secondary school. we are a rising star amongst junior colleges.
well maybe the SMC is based on the older generation of education. more time in school= better grades. entertainment=bad for grades.
right. more time in school means ill probably end up stoning more often. with nothing going in, and loud echos coming out. no entertainment? try slogging 24/7 for 12 whole years (p1~j2) without games, parties or whatever. no msn messenger (yes that stupid man in my house right now thinks msn messenger is a game, not a communication software) or whatsoever.
enough said. i have nothing more to mention.
wow some girl of mine got 3rd in level for physics ah. not bad n0t bad. i usually get uhhh 3rd quarter. not 3rd position. good good. you're much brighter than me. very much. outshine!
its been about 2 weeks that im out of my own house and crashing into someone else's. i havent felt so fucking peaceful so such a long time, so long that it feels creepy now. try having a burly man commanding you around and threatening you with his fists for compliance 24/7. you do not understand my past unrest.
our time together has loomed past the 2nd month, but like a foetus, it still resembles a curd, and is fragile and easily lost. cherish it, we shall. and the ring is quite cool. ill post pictures later.
and this weekend's matches have been a big disappointment. first, both argentina and brasil made fatal substitutions. wrong people at the wrong times. and argentina didnt even use messi. we couldnt blame brasil though. given france's superior old-man speed, and the defence clammed down on gaucho. no wonder the reports say he wasnt performing. and france was playing 8 man defence after their goal. no surprise if they hadnt any shooting chances. kids, gambling on WC is bad for you. especially when upsets happen.
on a light note, finally, its hana-sennin (flower hermit) for me. ill post on some SS later. busy doing normal distribution now.
and i feel the 4 million smiles thing is stupid. which *&@(*#^(@E$ makes people smile for a group which doesnt make people smile? if they are so afraid of riots and protests, do something about what is making the people create a ruckus wherever they go? money-cant-grow-like-trees you know. want regeneration to happen, go play maplestory or something. use meso-up or steal haha.
to end it off: to those who think im a jerk, good for you. to those who just known me, and think im a jerk because you're told to, i wish you luck.
Naheuy
Hana Fishy <3
Samick Guitar
Victorian
[Nil Sine Labore]
Meridian [Mugger]
HANA THE HERMIT
Wants
Class 3 Licence
Honda Jazz/Fit
Maybe a Nissan GTR =x
Or a EvoX will do too =p
Sony Bravia HDTV
Xbox 360
To pick up guitar skills again
To build up a noob investment portfolio
Double degree!
